Split Lives
After an absolutely wonderful weekend with Kevin's family, I had to come back to work and the realization that the summer is only half-over. I have little to no motivation at my job at the moment, and I am sick and tired of trying to balance two different lives, two different schedules, and many different struggles in the two separate worlds I live in between home and school. I'm so ready for my life to be "whole and entire" - to be honest, I feel like Sam Gamgee. Essentially my emotions are like Frodo in The Return of the King right now, telling me "My dear Sam. You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on." Unfortunately, I'm stuck with a "torn in two" life for another two years. SO...what am I going to do about it?
The answer plays into some things I've been thinking about as I plan for the next semester. My split lives have to be tied together, somehow. In addition, both of my lives are currently temporary, so (and thank you, Kevin, for the insight) one needs to be directed to the other, and both need to be directed towards the eventual long-term life. Many things are priorities, but they need to be properly ordered. It's hard to remember that also, the long-term life is not the be-all and end-all, as Shakespeare would say. Even that must be directed to the final end, the last and best life.
No, I can't live in a split world. What I have to do is unite each of my worlds in the common bond of eternity. If I can keep my spiritual life both strong and consistent, that is the one way in which I can be the same person wholly in all, rather than slightly different between each one. The worlds may be split, but I suppose that doesn't mean my life has to be. I have to direct the short-term worlds now to each other and to the long-term world after school, and all in the light of eternity.
So, just a small job, right?! :)
The answer plays into some things I've been thinking about as I plan for the next semester. My split lives have to be tied together, somehow. In addition, both of my lives are currently temporary, so (and thank you, Kevin, for the insight) one needs to be directed to the other, and both need to be directed towards the eventual long-term life. Many things are priorities, but they need to be properly ordered. It's hard to remember that also, the long-term life is not the be-all and end-all, as Shakespeare would say. Even that must be directed to the final end, the last and best life.
No, I can't live in a split world. What I have to do is unite each of my worlds in the common bond of eternity. If I can keep my spiritual life both strong and consistent, that is the one way in which I can be the same person wholly in all, rather than slightly different between each one. The worlds may be split, but I suppose that doesn't mean my life has to be. I have to direct the short-term worlds now to each other and to the long-term world after school, and all in the light of eternity.
So, just a small job, right?! :)
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