Seeking God

"Desiring to seek his God with all his heart, he did and prospered." 

~ 2 Chronicles 31, 21

I've been worrying this summer about all the stress that comes with college.  Don't get me wrong - I truly love my college and I love the experience I am having there!  However, if you put 450 young people in a close environment, things happen.  Having been through four semesters, I've given up on hoping that this semester will be somehow easier and less stressful than the last.  I know that my junior year will bring the same challenges I've had in the past years, and its own new challenges, drama and stress.  I'm worrying about accomplishing all the tasks that are set before me - from being a good friend and girlfriend, to leading the Legion of Mary as the president of the praesidium, to writing papers and facing a tough theology class. 

I finally realized this summer that there is only one way I'll be able to make it through next semester.  The Scripture verse I read last night reinforced the conclusion I had come to.  I have to desire to seek God with all my heart.  My life has to be oriented towards seeking God.  I need strength of mind and body in order to do what I need to do - and that strength will only come through time spent in prayer with God, and in offering all my "prayers, works, joys and sufferings" to my King. 

Notice that the verse does not say just "seeking God with all his heart, he did and prospered" but rather desiring to seek God.  There will be days when I doze off in daily Mass, days when adoration seems like a burden, or I forget my daily spiritual reading.  Life happens - I know that I am a limited human being, and inevitably I'm going to fall at times, whether through weakness or sin. But our King gives us a great grace.  He asks for the desires of our heart - He will grant the strength if we orient ourselves towards him.  He knows that we are weak and pitiful - that is why He died for us.  He knows what we need to seek Him, and He will give us those graces, if we but turn our hearts to Him and desire to seek Him, to grow closer to Him.

I must desire to seek my God, with my whole heart.  All the friendships, all the stress, all the challenges, all the homework, all the late nights, all the spontaneous singing, all the middle-of-the-night conversations, all the drama, all the daily Masses, all the classes, all the dates, all the meals, all the days of stomach cramps, all the phone calls home, all the Saturday room-cleaning days, all the research, all the library trips, all the walks...everything must be offered to my King.  Every action of my body, every intellection of my mind, and every affection of my heart, are His.  With all the strength of my heart I will desire to seek Him, and He will make me strong.  I will prosper in all that He wishes me to.

Ezechias was able to seek God because he desired to.  God takes our poor desires and gives us the strength to follow through on them.  "Desiring to seek God, he did."  And because of this seeking, Ezechias prospered - he was given everything necessary to fulfill his state in life, in this case, kingship.  In my case, being a student, girlfriend, and Praesidium president is my state in life.  I will desire to seek God.  And in response, I trust that He will help me in the seeking and grant me to prosper in being the woman that I alone am meant to be.