Our Hearts Are Restless

It's Easter!  If you say the Divine Office, you know that Compline or Night Prayer always ends with an antiphon to Our Lady.  The particular antiphon changes according to season .  During Christmas, the "Alma Redemptoris Mater" reflects the birth of Christ; during Lent, the "Ave Regina Caelorum" appeals to Mary as " the door through which the Light of the world is risen".  At Paschaltide, the "Regina Caeli" throws in LOTS of alleluias for an exultant praise of the mother of our Risen Lord. V. Regina caeli, laetare, alleluia.  R. Quia quem meruisti portare, alleluia.  V. Resurrexit, sicut dixit, alleluia.  R. Ora pro nobis Deum, alleluia. V. Gaude et laetare, Virgo Maria, alleluia.  R. Quia surrexit Dominus vere, alleluia. Oremus. Deus, qui per resurrectionem Filii tui, Domini nostri Iesu Christi, mundum laetificare dignatus es: praesta, quaesumus; ut per eius Genetricem Virginem Mariam, perpetuae capiamus gaudia vitae. ...

Over the last few years, I have developed an interesting relationship with St. Joseph.  In all honesty, I pester him about everything from guys to freelancing to "help me get everything done that I need to get done today."  He's the patron saint of pretty much everything that's relevant for single young adult Catholics.  And having a spiritual father in addition to my earthly father equals the best masculine support system I could ask for. Our friendship started during senior-year chaos, grew through a summer of panicked job hunting, and solidified during my transition to independence.  I figure he could handle it, but I still feel a bit guilty about throwing all the difficult bits of my life at him. Recently, I realized just how well St. Joseph understands me.  Before Christmas, God threw the inspiration for a major writing project at me.  We're talking the kind of God-curve-ball that feels like a ton of bricks dropping on your head.  My respo...

Roughly 33% of my nerdiness is music related, the product of a lifetime's exposure to live orchestral concerts, Gregorian chant and polyphony, band and orchestra experience, and private music lessons.  I was close to becoming a professional musician, until I realized that A.) I couldn't pass up Christendom 's solid Catholic liberal arts education, and B.) I didn't have the passion for practicing that you need if you want to make it as a pro.  My life choices changed, but my love for the arts has not; the first thing I did moving up here was to join the parish choir. Recently, I attended the Ann Arbor Symphony Orchestra 's semi-staged performance of Mozart's Abduction from the Seraglio , which was such fun.  I'd never actually listened to a full opera before, and this was a comic treat, such that I went back and listened to a few of the arias again on Youtube.  Also recently, I've been sorting through the music on my computer, compiling a long playlist ...

For my own sake, I have decided that it is high time to pick up the pieces and post something cheerful on this blog!  2015 ended in a depressed slump, as a chaotic month of chasing my tail over freelance projects switched gears into mourning the loss of my grandmother.  2016 has potential to be quite interesting, as I begin my first-ever full year of "adulthood" (which is quite a relative term if you think about it.)  No more bouncing back and forth like a ping-pong ball between home and school; no repeat of 2015's school/graduation/job hunting/frantic moving/wait I'm an adult now-ing.  I hope. I'm looking at a year of 8-5 Monday-Friday work weeks, punctuated by the occasional holiday, weekends in Indy, and perhaps a few adventures here and there.  Happily, the benefit of an office job is that it gives me evenings and weekends to do (or choose to not do) stuff in.  Right now, that means balancing freelance commissions with a burgeoning social life.  ...

In memory of all those who have served our country, I want to share with you a few favorite poems by the great poets of the First World War.  This Veterans' Day holiday was first called Armistice Day, and celebrated the end of the Great War, which brought so much devastation to the world.  There are more that I would love to include, but here are a few moving examples from war poets.  Take the time to think and meditate upon the sacrifices and suffering that these men and women have endured. Prayer of a Soldier in France - Joyce Kilmer My shoulders ache beneath my pack (Lie easier, Cross, upon His back). I march with feet that burn and smart (Tread, Holy Feet, upon my heart). Men shout at me who may not speak       (They scourged Thy back and smote Thy cheek). I may not lift a hand to clear My eyes of salty drops that sear. (Then shall my fickle soul forget Thy Agony of Bloody Sweat?) My rifle hand is stiff and numb (From ...

When the chaos of the world's evil begins to encroach, it's time to grab hold of the nearest lifeline of beauty.  Inextricably linked as it is to order, beauty in all its forms is the best stress relief.  For me, one of the best sources of true leisure and calm is a symphony concert. I'm an auditory learner, not visual; so while some would see colors and shapes in the instruments' sounds, I sense rather than see threads of sound, weaving together a tapestry of texture.  The conductors' hands seem to take on a life of their own, gently grasping or sharply tugging on a strand to fit it into the pattern of the whole.  As my eyes dart around the stage, my ear is picking out layers, and eye and ear work together to connect part and whole. Each instrument and its sound has a particular character, and I love them all.  The trombone is at its best in its nobility, the violin as a dance partner, the clarinet when it's showing off at a party, the French horn when r...

While thinking about adjectives tonight (more on that later) I decided to find an online word-cloud generator.  I popped over to WordItOut, and copied out all the adjectives from a section of the first chapter of Lord of the Rings.  Couldn't do the whole thing, although I have ambitions.  But, just for fun, here's a word-cloud of Tolkien's adjectives.  The size is randomly generated, not based on repetition.  Some things about the randomness amuse me - "enormous" is in the smallest font, but "grey" is grey-colored, though "dark" is printed in white. Oh and by the way...yes, I'm a nerd!

Remember those awful conversation-starters like "If you were alone on a desert island, what three books would you want to have with you?"  Here's a new one: If you were facing the most challenging transition of your life so far...what books would you want in your Emergency Reading Kit? I've included practical books, spiritual reading favorites, a little Shakespeare, fiction favorites and newbies, fairytales and poetry: I chose books that I knew I would want to be readily accessible, no matter what else I unpacked.  They're essentials for the mind, heart, and soul, to keep me sane through the first few weeks of this life-shift.  As I'm thinking about it, there are more I should have included, but this will be a good start for now.  Here's a breakdown of my Emergency Reading Kit. Practical books: Betty Crocker's Cookbook  is a family favorite, with all the essential, basic recipes I could ask for.  There's a lot of love i...

Photo credit: Lindsay Trapp Blarney Castle, Ireland

Photo credit:Rebecca Willen University of Dublin Library

"That's the subconscious - it's where they keep all the troublemakers." I got turned inside out yesterday. Pixar Studios has a stellar track record - from Finding Nemo  to The Incredibles , Up , and Monsters University , a few of my favorites.  Their movies are generally great stories, cleverly written, with good music, and most importantly, strong morals.  Right is right and wrong is wrong, the characters develop and mature, and family structure is always an important factor. I wasn't sure what to expect from this year's new Pixar, Inside Out .  The story follows one little girl, eleven-year-old Riley, as her family moves from Minnesota to San Francisco, and the five major emotions inside her head - Fear, Disgust, Anger, Joy, and Sadness.  At first, the concept seems a bit cheesy.  In reality, it's a complex and beautiful story conveyed through Pixar's usual stellar storytelling. Riley's parents are a bit flat, but they're ge...

Photo credit: Sarah Nutter Orvieto, Italy

In honor of all of my friends getting married this year. Photo: wedding of Ryan and Sarah Kiel, photo credit unknown.

I haven't done a "Poem of the Month" post for such a long time!  I thought I would share, just for fun, a poem that I'm working on memorizing and analyzing in the course of my Poetry and Poetics class this semester.  The poet, John Donne, is one of my favorites; if you don't know it, look up his sonnet "Batter My Heart".  Here's an unnamed poem; it's a rather bitter piece, but stunningly well-written. Go and catch a falling star, Get with child a mandrake root, Tell me where all past years are, And who cleft the Devil's foot. Teach me to hear mermaids singing, Or to keep off envy's stinging, And find What wind Serves to advance an honest mind. If thou be'st born to strange sights, Things invisible to see, Ride ten thousand days and nights, Till age snow white hairs on thee. Thou, when thou return'st, wilt tell me All strange wonders that befell thee, And swear Nowhere Lives a woman true, and fair. If thou find'st one, let me k...

I feel the need to post this poem.  Probably should have been consistently re-reading it these past few weeks, but I did finally rediscover it.  Kipling basically describes where I am right now - at least the way I'm attempting to face life! If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too: If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; If you can dream – and not make dreams your master; If you can think –and not make thoughts your aim, If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same: If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;...

My time grows short here in Rome!  With that in mind, I made a short list of places I wanted to be sure to see in these last few days.  I don't have many more opportunities for rambling, so I set aside Friday morning for some exploration.  I started my day with morning Mass at Vatican Radio, then popped up to the bakery for breakfast, and took the metro to Piazza del Popolo to eat said breakfast. [caption id="attachment_1674" align="alignnone" width="645"] Piazza del Popolo is located at the point of the city wall which would have been the main entry point for pilgrims coming to Rome in the medieval and Renaissance eras. Under Pope Sixtus V, this area was enhanced for the sake of the pilgrims. The church of Santa Maria del Popolo was built, so that the pilgrims could give thanks to God immediately after arriving at their destination. Sixtus himself would often come to the church to pray, as well.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_1675" align...

The Triduum holds a dear place in my heart, connected as it is with so many memories of growing up.  My family and I do a lot of volunteer work for the parish.  I practically grew up in the sacristy, choir loft and parish hall.  Nowadays I treasure those experiences, and the love and devotion my parents have always shown for the liturgy.  Honestly, working for the church has taught me so much about life and my faith!  I missed those times this Easter, since I'm so far away from my parish.  In a way, though, that separation forced me to focus more on the liturgy itself, rather than the backstage work.  I was able to notice and appreciate details that sometimes I miss when I'm caught up in the bustle of Holy Week.  I rediscovered things like the silence of the Altar of Repose, the evocative chants and voices of the Passion, the coldness of a barren altar, the privilege of kissing the feet of my dead Lord at the Veneration of the Cross, the pain and loneliness of the Reproaches, t...

We discussed this image in art and architecture class, and saw it for real in the Vatican Museums this week.  I wanted to share it, because it is such a striking and relevant piece.  Look at how the painting breaks out of the space - Christ looks like He will fall onto the altar underneath.  His hand points to a void, which is meant to be filled by the viewer.  Mary Magdalene is eloquent in her sorrow, and Our Lady's face is equally expressive.  The light moves you down from John to the white cloth falling on the stone.  Especially when seen up close, this is such a beautiful image, and very fitting for this day. [caption id="attachment_1609" align="aligncenter" width="645"] Caravaggio, The Entombment of Christ[/caption]  

This week, we spent a couple of days in Florence with the whole group.  I don't know what I was expecting, but I ended up enjoying the town far more than I had expected.  It looked like a big city, but was actually very easy to navigate, and the main sights are fairly central.  I took about 200 pictures, so I will try to distill them into a post of just the highlights!  185 or so pictures are up on Shutterfly, as well. For this first post, I'll just show you what we saw on our first day in Florence.  Our hotel was right by this: The Duomo of Florence is absolutely amazing.  It's a beautiful Gothic construction, and was the largest church in Europe until the current St. Peter's was built.  The dome was so big, that when they started building, they actually didn't have the technology to build it; however, they trusted that the next generation would.  Eventually it was built, with a completely original technique that has since been lost to time. [caption id="att...